Everything you need to know about the French

Pizza vans will tell you everything you need to know about the French, especially in contrast to Americans.

When you think of pizza and van in the same sentence I bet you imagine some teenage guy driving up to your door in a beat up van. For a few bucks he will hand over a lukewarm dampish doughy concoction with loads of everything, except taste. In France, they have taken that same van and cut the middle of it out. Why? So they could install a proper wood fired brick oven. The vans look very peculiar with their protruding heavily wrapped middles, a bit like Sumo wrestlers crawling around on all fours. The reason for this is that to taste really good, pizza needs to come out of an 800 degree oven within the last 4 minutes, and not be in an enclosed space (like a cardboard box) which will cause the steam to condense and fall back, soggifying the pizza. That, that is commitment: The idea that you need to have portable brick ovens to bring the correct pizza cooking stuff to you, because the idea of a second rate but more convenient pizza is unacceptable.

So there you have it, a nation of people willing to do what ever it takes -- including a casual disregard for the principles of engineering and structural dynamics, judging by the looks of some of these vans -- to get a good meal. Where as Americans, will do what ever it takes -- including flaccid crust and faux cheese goop -- to get a cheap convenient meal.

It is a question of priorities. What part of the expeience of eating matters to you? Is is quantity? Is it taste? Does mounds of melting cheese signify delicious gooyness, or slimy excess? Would you rather have so more experience per bite, or experience more bites?

Of course, judging by the shows on HGTV, this delimma will soon be a thing of the past, with home brick ovens coming into fashion. Now there is the ultimate experssion of modern Americanism -- consume, consume, comsume.